Thailand Trip

Once again, I'm planning a trip back to visit Thailand. Last year when I went there, I was planning to at least visit Thailand at least twice a year, so that I don't miss too much of actions. I've been really missing home lately, so it's about time.

The thing is; I ultimately really want to go home for good--to find a job, live and spend time with my family as much as possible. This is one area that I'm sure any foreigner (I consider myself a full-blooded Thai) living overseas will definitely agree with me, the worst side of living overseas alone is having the rest of family back home wherever you home country is (though this applies to those who are close to family and have good life back home.) Many tell me I need to just suck it up if I've decided to live outside my mother's land.

Anyhow, once again, another trip back to Thailand has been largely planned. I'm thinking about late August and will be there for at least a month. I start to think that after this trip, whatever happens, it will make more sense to leave the US during one of those cold months since I hate it so much, instead of leaving during one of the nicest.

My Expectation(s) of Thailand

........is none.

I'm aware; an individual without an expectation appears to be a hopeless person. It appears to many not having any expectation shows lacks of hopes and dreams. It shows a sense of surrender. It makes me sound like I'm giving up on Thailand.

I disagree.

Thailand, just like any other countries, has bads and goods; ups and downs. New Year is just another day. The world is still spinning. We continue to do our things. Thailand remains a country; not hell nor heaven. Many love Thailand, many hate Thailand. Many believe Thailand is an exotic location while other says Thailand is a high crime area.

The bottom line is: who cares?

I can names many things that make me frustrated about Thailand and can make a long list of what can be changed in order to make Thailand a better place. But again, why look into what I don't like about it.

Saying I dislike this and hate that aren't going change a thing. Why not concentrate on what I like about it. At least, it is healthy to stick with positive things. I cherish what Thailand has as a country and the country that I grew up on; many little things--bad or good--count and these little things are perfect components of making me who I am today.

So It's a New Year. It's just another day. Let's make a wish and take actions; instead of making unnecessary expectations.

PS: I'm writing and posting this based on US Central Stadard time. Happy New Year in Thailand. Here is the US....we are 4 hours shy of New Year.

The Nude Guru

When I was living in Thailand, my addiction to his ways of writing and his unique attitude is very high. I've been a big fan. What's not to love about Thailand's nude guru/ artist/ writer, Niwat Kongpien?

In case some of you guys don't really know him, Niwat Kongpien is known for his love of female body. Not sure if he is still writing for the weekly Matichon, but he has had a weekly column with them analyzing female's bodies in *details.* Niwat mainly discusses about revealing photographs taken on magazines or books. And the way he writes about them is one of the reasons I just love the guy.

Easy-to-follow, unique, straight-to-the-point, blunt, provocative and confident ways he portrays each photograph are admirable. He describes sexual desire, parts and feelings like nobody else. He sees what most people don't.

To many people, he is siding to be a pervert. To me, he is aiming towards beauties of human's body, and honesty of human's sexuality. A few years ago, I got an accident chance to talk to him. His attitude towards his career and Thai society have amazed me until today. His progressive thoughts make me feel that we need more of him in the society. I believe he fills in a few missing important spots in Thai society--criticism, assertiveness and sexuality.

What if you were a handicap in Thailand...

My answer is, you'd be screwed---oh so screwed.

I have to admit. I'd never really put a thought onto this subject until my recent trip to Thailand. As many trips as I took, I did not see one disabled person in the public, not even *one*.

Is it possible Thailand does not have people with disabilities? Aren't we have those using a wheelchair for ambulation? Aren't we have those who are mentally challenges? Well, 100% we do. It's pretty universal, right?

But, where the heck are they?

Don't they shop at Siam Square? Aren't they do weekly grocery shopping just like everyone of us do? Don't they dine in a restaurant in Central Ladprao? I believe they want to. But where are they?

I'm aware Thailand is trying. The country as a whole has been slowly attempting to assist those with disabilities. There are some handicap restroom as I can see. Unfortunately, when I look around, they are not even enough. Obviously, we cannot only provide only handicap-friendly restrooms if you know what I mean. We need to build more of the public-friendly environments.
We need more pedestrian safety programs promoting a safe environment (start with a side walk, maybe) for those who use adaptive devices. We needs more public assisting tools (say, automatic doors) and we need to make certain spaces bigger for whoever that may need them.
As far as I'm concern, when ones are disabled, that doesn't translate into strictly staying at their own cribs. I'm just talking about those who are physically handicap only for now, not yet ranting about those with mental challenges.

Weight Gain and Other Stuff

As I've expected, I came back to the US with weight gain. I will not even want to mention, how much, but I can feel my work pants get tighten. What a frightening experience!

Shopping in Thailand is a lot of fun, but eating in Thailand is much more fun. I'd chosen to eat almost everything I like and cannot find back in the States. I remember making a daily trip to Bon Marche Market to get a bite off Piek-Poon--a kind of desserts I cannot even explain why I like it and what it tastes like. Yes, another thing I cannot find in this great country of America. I've bought several kinds of foods back. As much as I hate to have a trouble getting inspected at the custom at the airport, I have agreed with myself I must take a risk. I packed things like Pla-Salids, Pan-Sips and some nam-prik in my suitcases (of course, they were well sealed!) taking my chances. If I were to get picked for an inspection and they'd take those yummy stuff away from me, so be it. At least I know I've tried. Luckily, it was one of those very few days. I didn't get stopped. I passed ALL DA WAY!!!

It is funny (and that was why I insisted packing my suitcases alone to avoid humiliations, ha) and I'm not sure if other fellow Thais do have a taste like me. Besides food shopping to bring back, I'd do personal hygiene items shopping as well. Items such as cheap facial cream, facial foam (love the Shogubutsu), Parrot soap bars, toothpaste...stuff like that. I love buying those stuff back here because they remind me of Thailand--something that is a little hard to explain. Like Parrot soap bars, they smell sooooo good, sooooo refreshing. So far, no soap bars in the US can beat it, so how can I resist the temptation to spend 32 bahts on 4 soap bars--it's hard to beat the deal. When I was shopping for these stuff at Big C near by house, I was thinking about how many Thais pay so much money to use imported goodies. Me, on the other hands, pays less than ever, to carry back made-in-Thailand items. The quality may be as good if you know what I'm saying. There are some wise venders carry several Bath and Body Works items. A regular 10oz bottle of shower gel costs over 450 bahts. A little one sold for 250 bahts. I wonder how Thai college kids can afford these stuff? Oh..I'm just complaining like an old lady!!!

First Day Back from the Thailand Trip

I miss home already! Getting home sick at the age of 30......sounds funny, but very very true.

3 weeks and a little bit have proven not even close of enough time to visit family and friends, but enough to make I miss them when being away. Monday the 24th, I got to the new airport by 4am to take a flight to Narita, then Chicago to Indianapolis. Pretty smooth flight I must say--no problem with immigration and custom whatsoever. 6 hours and a bit for a flight from BKK to Narita. About 11-12 hours from Narita to Chicago and another hour from Chicago to Indy.

The whole home sick thing didn't hit me until the plane actually landed at Indy airport and worse when I walked into my very own apartment--no parents, no siblings, no dogs. It's strange.

Thailand Trip # the last weekend

How am I going to make my last weekend worthwhile? Too many things needed to be done--seems impossible:

1) Visit other family members
2) Other friends to talk, to meet
3) Buying some books
4) Doing more eating

During my trip home this time, I've discovered this mall 'Platinum' near Pratunam area, selling very very cheap goodies. I bought many crystal-look alike key chains for 50 bahts a piece. Another day seeing the same one sold at JJ Plaza for 159 bahts--triple the price at Platinum. This shopping archad will be my must-go destination during my next trip home. Oh gosh, I feel like a tourist in my own town. Seeing things, getting so excited with such bargain prices. Bangkok has been changing, new ways, new streets, new routes--I hope these changes are leading the city to a good destination. What am I going to do this weekend? My last weekend.

Thailand Trip # precious things

Many Thais wear yellow shirts to honor the

King's 80th birthday. Government and workplace now encourage their employees to wear *yellow* which is the King's birth day (Monday) on Monday. Though anybody, really, wear this shirt and I'm talking about everywhere, especially on Monday. It's so cute. I guess this really applies to any day, but Monday will be the day I see 80% of the people wear them.

Who knows? My trip to Thailand is almost over already! What am I going to do without:

1) All these great Thai foods, desserts, snacks. I'm not a big fan of cake, yes, cake, but last week manage to discover this little cake shop at Bon Marche in Prachanivech called Bow Cake. The Bai-Teiy flavour makes me wish I weigh 35 kilos, so I can just eat all I want.
2) The cheap tropical Thai herbs.
3) The foot massage.

And during these past 2 weeks, I've managed to get addicted to a Korean series, Ju-Mong. By the day, only a few days left, I should start planning a serious shopping trip. Last Sunday, I got a chance to visit Platinum mall near Pratunam. GREAT PLACE TO SHOP! No need to go to JJ market. Here is air conditioned and is very very cheap place to buy stuff. So many earrings I got from that day. 10 bahts a pair, can't find this deal anywhere else.

Food of the day: fish noodles, pan-klips, more tod-muns, kao-tung-na-tung etc.
News update: Total death from Phuket plane crash = 89 bodies
Initial compensation from Orient Thai = 100,000 bahts

One-Two-Go Airline's accident in Phuket

Deputy Phuket Governor Worapot Rattasima said at least 66 bodies were retrieved from the aircraft. Earlier report said most of the victims were foreigners, have been retrieved from wreckage of a One-Two-Go plane at the Phuket airport. The budget airliner exploded and broke in two after it crashlanded and skidded off the runway and crashed into nearby walls on Sunday afternoon. More are feared dead.

Some reports put the death toll at about 80, but this has yet to be confirmed. The nationalities of those onboard are not immediately known, but Phuket is a highly popular destination for overseas tourists. There were 74 Thais on the plane. It's the first local disaster involving low-cost airline following its profileration about four years ago.
A 1126 telephone hotline has been created by the airline to provide immediate information about Flight OG 269. A surviving Thai passenger said the plane "landed hard" and "bounced" and then skidded off the runway. Civil aviation official Chiasak Angkauwan said, "the airplane requested to land but due to the weather in Phuket -- strong wind and heavy rain -- maybe the pilot did not see the runway clearly."

"The plane then fell onto the runway and broke into two. It is expected that there will be a lot of casualties."
"We are rescuing people from the aircraft ... we know now there were 123 passengers and five crew," he told the news channel.
"We won't know what really happened until we get information from the black box."

The airliner services Bangkok-Phuket flights six times a week. The ill-fated airline left Don Muang airport at about 2.30pm. Information now coming in said the plane, which was being used by local budget travel company, One-to-Go Airline, had 123 passengers and five crew.
Officials said victims could have died on impact, or from suffocation and fire resulting from explosions. According to an initial account, the plane's fuselage was torn open when the aircraft crashed into an earth wall, and some of the survivors were those thrown out through the opening.

The aircraft, flight number OG 269, approached the Phuket airport at about 3.40pm from Bangkok. Phuket had earlier been hit by heavy rains. It crashed into trees and walls surrounding the airport. Eye-witnesses said the impact of the crash caused the plane to break in two and they heard a series of explosions. Rescue teams and navy personnel were involved in the rescue operation. All flights in and out of the Phuket airport have been cancelled.
An Irish tourist, identifying himself only as "John", said he was on board the flight. He and his friend survived with bruises all over their bodies. "We sat on the 18th row. The weather was real bad and there were lots of unusual noises during the landing. Something was obviously wrong [during the landing]," he said. He and his friend escaped through the emergency door.Meanwhile Transportation Minister Thira Haochareon said Phuket International Airport was temporary closed after the crash.Thira said the body of the aircraft hit the runway and was on fire fire while the pilot made an attempt to pull it off after failed a landing attempt, he said.
Key features of MacDonnel Douglas MD82

Passenger capacity: 175 seatsEngine type: Pratt & Whitney JT 8D217 A/CAircraft speed: Faster than sound by 0.76 times; 430 miles per hourFlight ceiling: 37,000 feetFlight distance: 3,500 kilometres

(Photo and Story Courtesy by the Nation--Thailand) at 8:28pm

Thailand Trip # another joy of being here

I know this will sound funny--another reason I love about being here is I get to indulge all of those Thai-translated Japanese cartoons as much as I can take it. I've been a big fan of Japanese cartoons and animations since...I can read. This means business. I started of reading a classic cartoon *Doraemon* just like any other kids. I bought my first cartoon when it was sold for 10 bahts or a little less a piece. Those old cartoons have been kept nicely here at my parents' house here--untouched by others. My family knows not to throw them away...ever. Then from classic/ kid-friendly Doraemon, I've expaned into other series, girls, boys cartoons I read them all. I especially love those with Japanese history story base.

Many of my friends who were into it with me back then no longer read them now. They let go of cartoon when they went to college or a little later. Me, as a 30-year-old, still faithfully read them......very religiously. It's almost impossible to find one in the States. I can't make myself reading cartoons in English. Since I can't read Japanese, Thai fits best here. My trip this time has been a joy. When I get a minute here and there, there are cartoons I spend most time with. What a happy life not many people understand.

The recent price update: 35-45 bahts/ cartoon (black and white)
80 bahts/ colored cartoon

Most recent favorite cartoonist: Ueda Rinko

Thailand Trip # Southern of Thailand

No no no, not Phuket or Ko Samui. I left BKK on Monday to visit family living in Had Yai in Songkla province. Tomorrow, Friday, will be my last day here then heading back to my good ol' Bangkok. Had Yai is a pretty good town--even though the city, for some reasons, does not carry bunch of the same groups of tourists as its neighbors, Phuket and Samui. Most tourists visiting Had Yai are largely Malaysians, Singaporeans and Chineses. Not sure why. Maybe Had Yai does not carry the *atmosphere* similar to the two places mentioned above. Shopping in Had Yai is great! Lots of tax free and fake goodies are like heaven to me. I pretty much buy anything I need, except for perfumes and electronics. I'm not an expert in these areas, so chances are, I will end up with fake/ low quality goods with a higher price. So I mostly leave perfumes and electronics alone just to give myself a peace.

Conversation between vender and customer in Had Yai usually goes like this:
Vender: "Do you want a fake _______ or a real one?"
Customer: "em........real one."
Vender: "Here it is. It's 100% genuine. You can trust me."
Customer: Flipping through the good back and forth, "how do I know?"
Vender: "Here" while pointing to different label on the, say, a bottle of perfume.
Customer: still not so sure whether it's real.

Venders here are good. They know when to lie and who to lie to. They can tell whether you are a local or not. Every shopper must be careful.

Foods of the day: not sure what anymore---too many things like southern kanom jeen, all the popular southern dishes (since my mom's family is from here so I've been going to so many famous restaurants and childhood food spots. Can't even list them all here.)

Thailand Trip # foot massage

Oh gosh..................who says money cannot buy happiness? Money definitely can buy some happinesses and foot massage is something money can buy.

Money = Foot Massage = Happiness

This is one thing I've been dreaming of being done. Getting massaged in the US is something I'd call, luxury. Who want to pay $60 or more/ hour of foot rub? I don't. I know these well-trained Thai fellas can do a much better job with a few dollars an hour. I pay a little higher price for my foot rub today, well, higher than average of Thai standard. Say, 300 bahts. I pulled out my calculator and it shows me about $8.

Foot massage. Something I'll get on a daily basis while in Thailand. Something money can buy. I can hear my feet cry in joy today...loudly.

Thailand Trip # the changes

Visiting Thailand this time, again, many things have changes. Bangkok has turned to be one concrete-made city. The city is, worse than ever, over crowded, polluted and well concreted. I have been thinking, whenever the city has enough money and free of corruption, I hope sky trains and subway trains can reach all the suburbs. This will fix the traffic problems.

Sept 8 (Saturday): I got to go to *Water Front*, a cool restaurant by Chao Phraya River. It was nice. It was a reunite with old friends I went to CMU with and that I've not seen them for a very long time. A very nice restaurant with good food, nice scenery, great price. I remember coming to this restaurant a little over 3 years ago while working for the Nation.

Stopped by Kao San Road before heading to the restaurant. There is this convenient parking lot near the market by the road. Almost went to JJ market earlier, but after sticking my facing in the steamy market, not sure I could fight the crowd and the heat. So JJ market plan was cancelled.

Today Sunday Sept 9: went to Siam Square again. I found this purse shop in MBK. I'm so grateful being in Thailand. Really appreciate our country's craftmanship. 199 baht/ a purse, as good as it gets, works with me. I don't need no brand names to keep me happy. I figure if I really want a brand name one, no need to come to Thailand for it. Also swung by Siam Paragon, OMG!, this place is so expensive. Can you believe a scoop of ice cream cost 300 bahts. Again, no need to come to Thailand for this. I prefer 15 bahts a scoop from a street vendor.

Love it: the BTS bridges from the station to Central World to Siam Square to MBK. Genious thoughts whoever made it.
Hate it: Thai kids spend their parents fortune on brand name stuff, eating out at a restaurant that will cost more than many people's salary.

Food of the day: Kua-Kling (southern dish), Japanese grilled salmon, Pad Pak Boong Thai (southern style) and other stuff I can't even keep up with.

Thailand Trip # Too Little Time

Sept 5, 2007: Went to Silom and Lalai-Sup with dad, mom and sister. Just realize today I shop well *alone.* This may be a habit, but when I need something, I am more comfortable doing it alone. So yeah....visited Lalai-Sup without getting a thing. In the evening, went to dinner at this place called 'Yuu.' It's like an old Daidomon with better location, beef and much higher price. First time eating iberry icecream--Durian flavor (sure keep my breath exactly like Durian for the rest of the night.)

Food of the day: Grilled beef, iberry Durian, Dim Sum.

Sept 6, 2007: Actually, three weeks and a few days can be either just enough or not that close to enough. I've become to realize today that it'd be much better to make two seperate trips to Thailand--one devoted to family and another for friends. In this case, there is too little time.

Went to Hua-Hin to visit my aunt today (dad's sister.) So much changes going on there since last time I was there a little over 3 years ago. See, this can be a good thing. Since I remember, when I think about Hua-Hin, I think about my dad's side of family. It's strange since I've never once thought of it as a beach town, seafoods or vacations like others. Going there doesn't give me a vacation vibe, but more of a visit with my family. Anyhow, change is good in this case. More stuff to do there I must say.

Food of the day: Hormok (again), fish noodles, kao-gang

Thailand Trip# The food

4:17pm
Went to Central Ladprao today. I didn't get to walk around a whole lot; just basically there for lunch and very sadly to admit--for Japense cartoons (I will blog more later about Japenese cartoons..it will take more than a few lines that's why.) We ate at S&P today and speaking of S&P, I'm not sure how other Thais feel about this place, but man! I just love it. Their foods are so good, creative (we are talking about variety of foods and how they develop these good old traditional Thai foods into something very very awesome! Though, eating there is pretty pricy comparing to amount of foods I get.) My lunch there was great as usual. I also went to Big C, a grocery store, to buy some day-to-day supplies. Again, it takes about 3 seconds to spend 1000 bahts nowadays. Things are pricier I must say. I didn't realize it takes close to more than 100 bahts to buy shower gel. Most shampoo and conditioner cost over 100 bahts. Wow....even though I can't hear what I write, but I do realize I'm falling behind and it sucks. I find myself asking so many questions since I get to Thailand this time and don't know so many things and so many ways people do things around here. I don't mean to sound weird, but it's true!

Speaking of food, I believe, Thai foods must be the best in the world and that coming to Thailand this time is like an eye opener. Foods are available for consumers anytime and everywhere they go. The connection between Thais and their foods are so great. I mean, seriously, Thais eat just about anytime and these vendors sure make it convenient for us all to eat. Until now, I'm not so sure how these girls stay skinny with all of these great foods available within an arm reach. It is one of those few things I miss a lot about living in Thailand.

Food of the day: Yum-Tau-Poo, Por-Pia-Sod, Kao-Mun-Som-Tam, Watermelon shake, Kao-Yum

Thailand Trip: when I've been so far behind

I forgot to add this into my previous blog today and figure it's worth a mention. Visiting Thailand this time is an eye opener. It shows me how far behind I've been all of these years. In the past 3 days, I've been VERY behind more than you can imagine, and yes, it's only been 3 days!
1) Reading Thai gossip magazines, I know almost nobody, no stars, singers, models etc in there. I mean, seriously.
2) I know very little about Thai politics (which no, it doesn't surprise me. Never follow it in the first place.)
3) Any popular celebraty who appeared after 1999, I really don't know them.
4) Never got on the subway.
5) So many new restaurants in town. I can't even keep up with it. Anything I think is hip, it's just not...well.....not anymore!!!

Thailand Trip # the first weekend

On Saturday, I tagged my sister and mom along to Fortune to buy some CDs for my uncles who lives in England. I didn't even know how Fortune set up and that buyers may not need to visit Pantip for this kind of buys. Plenty of cheap CDs and movies. After that, we went to eat at Nai-Nuad restaurant. It's so funny how many things have changed while I live in the U.S. I'm not sure how others feel about it, but it seems to me that 1000 bahts can be blown away in just a second. Many things seem to be much more expensive comparing with the past three year.

In the evening, a friend and I went to Riverfront Restaurant by the Chae Phraya River. I remember coming here once a few years back.

Foods of the day: Tod mun khoong, yam pra dook foo, tom yum koong, kao pad kang keaw wan gai and kai kem.

Sunday: Visit Siam Square and MBK. Since I've arrived to Thailand, one of my missions is to bring back cheap purses (as many as possible) to the U.S. It's hard to beat 199bahts deal here. Many people said 'you've gotten what you've paid for', but heck, who cares? Very very tried. I haven;t sweated this much for a very long time by just walking, but numbers of people in the city are just unbelievable I mean. Back when I was still living in Thailand, I was so used to it.

Foods of the day: Shamu....something. Basically, little bit of sushi and mixtures of sukiyaki-style foods.

Thailand Trip # Day One

Wed 8/29: Took a flight from Indy to Chicago. Waiting like forever at Ohare only to hear the news that the plane would be delay for 2 hours. Didn't leave until 2 something pm. I was thinking, this'd only delay all the flights all the way to BKK.

Wed 8/29-TR 8/30: It's not like I didn't expect this--the flight from Chicago to Narita lasted like a lifetime. It was beyond boring. Not only I didn't have anything interesting to do, the fact that I got stuck with strangers for more than half a day in a small place makes it worse. United airlines was alright. Giving the price I've paid, I don't think I'm entitled to complain much. Though, there were points when I felt it would have been much better to fly first class. Since this flight was delay from the start, I knew that'd leave me little to no time to catch another flight to BKK. Upon arriving to Narita, captain annouced that the airport had hold Narita-BKK flight for us 10 who flew from Chicago. We ran and ran through another gate. Once getting onto the plan to Bangkok, I saw seated passengers passing some kind of judgements to us ten who were about 2 hours late and these people had been waiting for us all along. It wasn't like they had any choice, but so hadn't we.

TR 8/30: Pilot flew that damn plane from Japan like a crazy 16-year-old dude. It took us only 4 hours to get to Bangkok. So surprisingly, I arrived in BKK at 10:20pm...almost 2 hours earlier than our scheduled time. Remember how the plane was 2 hours delay, obviously the captain had made it up for us all.

Friday 8/31: On the phone with so many relatives, family and friends. Took a tour on our new renovated home (outside). I got to go some places a bit today. Traffic in BKK hasn't changed a bit--only worse. I can see there are more concrete in this city and technology is something I haven't catched up with yet.

Foods of the day--gai-yang, som tum, nam tok, soop-nor-mai, hor-mok.

Mixed Feelings

I will be going to Thailand in two days, and weirdly, I've got some mixed feelings. It's so odd.

Of course, I'm excited to be back home again to see family and friends I've not seen for a long time. I wonder if they will look a little older, be a little thinner or a little chubbier. I'm curious to talk to them in person catching up what they have been up to in the past three years and what I've been missing all along. For the most part, I'm thrilled.

But I still have these weird feelings. One of them is an anxiety wondering if they will look at me a little differently. Three years can be a short time, but can also be a long time. I believe people change a little as they age. However I know I'm still the same person with a slight of maturity. I realize there are certain things I used to believe then, but no longer believe now. I am aware of what I thought was right then, but no longer right at this time. The sky may have been blue then, but at the moment, I see it with a hint of yellow. Heck. The way I look at things maybe a little different, but heck, I hope, I'm still the same person. I hope people back home see them along with me.

Many things have been happening to me, unfortunately, I can only share so much. Not being able to see family on a daily basis and trying to catch up within 3 weeks, I don't know how it's going to turn out.

I think this is one of those things I fear most. That's why I'm so anxious. But this still does not count zillions things I want to do there within limited amount of time with friends. I'm afraid time won't allow me to see every one of them.

The Trip (I'm obsessed)

Going to Thailand this time is pretty big for me. There have been several things coming to my mind driving me nuts. Belows are examples:

1) Diet--I've come to realize today that I will not be able to make it happens--a crashed course diet before the trip is just not happening to me. Not sure two weeks will do any good.
2) According to the number #2--going to Thailand with less than ok-body is just a test of a self-esteem trip. There will be some kinds of judgemental thinking within the family against me. Not kind of hateful comments, but bad enough to get me mad.
3) According to #1 and #2 combined--FYI, I love my body. I've been loving it for a while now and have made peace with the fact that there are little I can change about myself, so I might as well accept and love it. But putting myself through critism on a daily basis for 3 weeks, it's more than long enough to drive me wild.
4) Time--3 weeks can go by fast as a blink. Who says it's enough. The best/ just-about-right vacation to my home should last about 2 months. How am I going to cram things to do with little time I have.
5) The last day in BKK will be the worst ever--Hate saying goodbye to loved ones. Seeing their faces fading away is to worst it can be. Airport is definitely not a place to do that. I just hate it. This is a feeling that never changes.
6) Location--I really want to go to Chiang Mai. Going to Thailand without standing on Chiang Mai's soil is like eating plain noodles with no sauce. Knowing it's not gonna happen is horrible. Instead, I will end up in BKK, then Had Yai then Hua Hin for family visits. Not like I don't want to be there. It's just I wish I would have more time.

Believe me. I think about these craps every single day--not in order--as I count down to the travel date.