Friday, October 03, 2008


I really don't like myself today for not able to be willing to wait patiently. I know, for the most parts, I have gotta take some times and see how things are going to turn out. Just like a classic advice; "only time can/ will tell".

Nope, that classic crap doesn't apply to many things on my mind today, and actually doesn't seem to fit well in many aspects of my life lately. It's so freaking frustrating and constantly driving me nuts! I mean, at some points, I feel, my anxiety is hitting the roof top; leaving me feeling like shit (excuse my language). It's not a so called *down* feeling, but more of a stupid obsession kinda thing. Hard to explain. That kinda feeling of wanting to speed-things-up-a-little-so-I-don't-waste-my-time feeling is making me hot inside. It's weird. I seem to get that a lot lately.

So I think I need to start spending more time alone; sorting things out. Maybe this is just me or something that I do that causes this crap. Maybe I shouldn't raise expectation or not having any expectation to start with. Maybe I should start thinking about me more and concentrate on today only.