Sunday, August 26, 2007

Mixed Feelings

I will be going to Thailand in two days, and weirdly, I've got some mixed feelings. It's so odd.

Of course, I'm excited to be back home again to see family and friends I've not seen for a long time. I wonder if they will look a little older, be a little thinner or a little chubbier. I'm curious to talk to them in person catching up what they have been up to in the past three years and what I've been missing all along. For the most part, I'm thrilled.

But I still have these weird feelings. One of them is an anxiety wondering if they will look at me a little differently. Three years can be a short time, but can also be a long time. I believe people change a little as they age. However I know I'm still the same person with a slight of maturity. I realize there are certain things I used to believe then, but no longer believe now. I am aware of what I thought was right then, but no longer right at this time. The sky may have been blue then, but at the moment, I see it with a hint of yellow. Heck. The way I look at things maybe a little different, but heck, I hope, I'm still the same person. I hope people back home see them along with me.

Many things have been happening to me, unfortunately, I can only share so much. Not being able to see family on a daily basis and trying to catch up within 3 weeks, I don't know how it's going to turn out.

I think this is one of those things I fear most. That's why I'm so anxious. But this still does not count zillions things I want to do there within limited amount of time with friends. I'm afraid time won't allow me to see every one of them.

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