Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Consequences

After being a yesterday brave girl, today I have faced its consequences of trying to be open. It is awkward as hell.

The person I talked to: they (see? no gender here.....I wanna keep it anonymous lol) probably think they are playing the field in my very own home game. They can feel me and see what I have been through, what I have been thinking or even feeling. It was so straight because I know I am one of the best never-show-real-feelings person and that I am proud of it. So when I let it all out yesterday, they feel they can read me entirely. Well, not exactly right people. I have another 2% to share and that it will be out there by the new year. It's my pre New Year resolution. Anyway, I am very proud of my decision to speak whatsoever.

One time in the past, I let my words and my questions go. There was this guy (gosh! this is such an old-school story!) I had so many questions to ask him. There were so many stuff I wanted to let him know, but I never did. I let my chances slip away because of fear. It was overwhalming you know those feelings. By the time I realized, the chances were gone. I never allowed myself to say what I had gotta say and once the opportunity said goodbye, I missed the boat. I still regret until today. So I've learned. You live once. You put yourself out there doing whatever you gotta do. Life is simple. You make a decision and you don't look back. Gosh! love this phrase.


EVnoott said...

I wished I had the same guts to do like that. I see no point to upset people by telling them what's bothing me. Yeah..mostly I am too scared of what people will think of me, heartless, self-oriented, or things of those kinds.

My way out until now is to avoid those people and hope they will get the message.

Recently, I think people are doing their own ways and don't give a damn about others, so why am I bothering myself caring for their feelings and throw away mine?

So I've been doing whatever I feel like. I couldn't care less how they would think of me. They've never done anything for me anyway!

About the consequences, of course, there are awkward moments. That's the price I want to pay and I will be happy.

OakMonster said...

As I grow older, I learn to care less about other people and more about me.

I see you are going through such phase. I'm glad you got whatever it is off your chest. I hope you are feeling better!

BTW - Merry Christmas!

Pondering said...

Merry X-Mas to you all too. too. As I get older, I tend to be's the word for center.