The Eve

(Photo Courtesy: Robert Scheer/ The Star)
This year must have been the most chill New Year of all time. I stay home like an old maid, eat a lot, and watch more football. How exciting!!! Anyway, the Colts win over Dolphins tonight--all good to me.

I have been thinking about New Year Resolutions. As much as I hate to have one or two or three (since there is a big chance my resolutions will more likely go down drain a few days after the New Year,) I feel that I am obligated to join the club. So I've listed some. They are the same....like any other year people...same old craps.

1) Exercise 3-4 times a week (yeah yeah yeah) Do you guys know I've joined the gym and used about 10% of the money spent.
2) Eat less fast food. I'm talking about limiting to once every two weeks. (yeah yeah yeah)
3) Eat less fried food. I'm talking about limiting to once every week only. (yeah yeah yeah)

Only three for now. If I can only make one of them lasts for more than 1 week, I'd already be so proud of myself already!!!

The First Love-Part One

Rewinding almost 13 years ago, it must have been love.

As cheesy as it sounds, it was love at first sight while riding the train to Chiang Mai as a freshie. The gracious look of the guy had changed on whole perspective of going to Chiang Mai and would be there for another 4 years. My heart was pumping and it had never been like that before. I knew I wanted to find out more of who he was--that skinny long-hair guy with ripped jeans (well FYI: back then, I was so into that long hair/hippie/ artistic/ music kinda guy, which well considered cool-as-hell. Again, back then.)

So I didn't know his name and basically knew nothing about the guy. All I knew was I wanted to get to know him somehow. As far as I was concern, he was marching back and forth in my bogie for a while, so chances were, he would have to be in my faculty, which put my chance into a great spot for a starter. The thing was that, my faculty--faculty of humanity--consisted of countless of departments like French, mass comm, philosophy, psychology and the list goes on. So we were talking about fishing here my friends. How was I supposed to get to know the guy by the way. I didn't talk to him at all nor knowing his name or even nickname. I was praying for the best--a great fluke. I got off the train and went on with my little orientation.

During out initial pledge (I don't even know what it's called, but you know those seniors/freshies torturing craps after school?) CMU had a heavy one for freshies. Lots of exercises, walking, running, sweating and all those torturing stuff, but hell, I was tough. I had this can-do attitude, so whatever the seniors wanted me to do and did it with no excuse (this will be included in another blog. I want to blog about this hot guy now.) Anyway, during that time, I started seeing more of him. The guy seemed to be around a lot during our activities stuff and one night, he introduced himself to us, freshies, as a sophomore in my department. Bingo! it felt just like I had won a lottery. He was in my department and only a year older. Man, how can I be so lucky. The thing was that after a few months long of stuff I had been through, there was this one night............................sorry, will blog more.

Weird Winter (shhhh...got my fingers crossed)

I've gotta admit: this year happens to be one of the weird winter ever since I got to the US--Indianapolis hasn't got our very first snow just yet people...not yet.

I hope it stays this way. This Saturday, we expected our December temp going up to 50s to celebrate our incoming New Year. I'm very happy. Remember last year during this time of the year, it was freezing cold. This year is a little different. Well, we actually enter our colder front a little sooner than usual. Last month, our temp dropped to teens to mid 20s for a while and I expected some snow a little earlier this year, but heck, none has visited us yet. I pray to God to let it stay this way until, well, spring comes. As much as I dislike colder temp, I think I can live with it as long as there is no snow involved. Ever since I came to the country, I've become a weather channel freak. Weatherman in the US are damn well acurate and that I can trust my tropical life with them. Yep, I'm in good hands.

Winter in 2004 and early 2005 was the brutalest in my being in the country. I remember freezing my ass off in the apartment hoping electricity would be back up soon. We had snow/ rain storm and that the temp wasn't low enough to produce heavy snow, yet it wasn't warm enough to melt the existing snow. So what happened was that when it rained, it immediately turned into icy version of it. Think when you are melting a freezer in Thailand, it looks like that. So all those freezing rain got stuck in between those electrical wire around the city causing the whole thing to stop producing electricity. Meaning the whole city lost their power. Meaning millions of millions of wires were broken. Meaning the whole city went on weeks without power. People started migrating to other towns nearby to stay in the hotel. With the temp in teens and no heat, people were forced to leave town. Some stayed at home. I remember driving out of town trying to find a hotel, I couldn't find one room available. I mean,,,none. Living back in Muncie then, I had to drive all the way to Indy, which is almost 50 miles away to get a room. It's depressing. City of Muncie had to ask for helping hands from IPL from Illinois, Ohio and Kentucky to help fixing the wires. It took them days to make it happen. The day when I heard my area should have been fixed, Dan and I drove back to Muncie, back to the apartment hoping to be warm again in my very own place. At 3pm, no sign of heat coming in soon. No power, meaning no TV no entertainment. Even McDonald's was closed! I never felt so desperate like that before. I was too cold to go out, too bored to sit and did nothing. So decided to bundle up and lay around. Waking up around 8pm, seeing light from the neighbor. I turned the kitchen light on. Feeling like heaven. It was so beautiful. I started seeing those IPL fellas in the different light. You guys are like heros.

Huh...why am I talking about this?

The Restaurant Lesson

1) To never ever let the kitchen supplies like foods to run out and try to purchase them in the last minute--ever! You have to do the inventory everyday or every other day to make sure the kitchen is fully stocked.
2) To never ever take the money out of the cash register for some stupid reasons such as buying a pair of shoes. Those cash must go towards the restaurant first before generating to other personal areas.
3) To never ever give out free alcoholic drinks for some stupid reasons such as trying to show off you are cool. This will leave you will low to no profit at all at the end of the day. Liquors helps generating higher profits, but at the same time, they can push you to the other end.
4) To never ever rely on only words of mouth. Something we call media must be used.
5) To never ever be a lazy ass, especially if you are the one who runs the business. Not enough money, go work!!! Not enough money, cut back on luxurious employee cost and do it yourself.
6) To never ever let your customers sitting around waiting for their meals for a very long time, especially during lunch time. This is crucial. Most people have only 1 hour lunch break. If they have to wait for no longer than 20 minutes, they most likely will not return.

Mor Chor

(Photo Courtesy of Dekmor.com)

So yeah...I have lots of...I mean bunches of photos of Chiang Mai and CMU, but since last time I went back to Thailand, I took them all back there and now I am left with nothing.

When I think about it, there are a whole bunch of reasons out there why I'm so fond of this college. Aside from all academic craps, there are those memories, friends and puppy loves (yes, it's plural my friends lol) behind CMU fence. These factors have shaped me to who I have become. Until now, still cannot imagine who I would have turned to be without all those memories and experiences I haven't exactly left behind this northern college. It is too bad that I don't have some of those pictures handy so that they can be shared. One of those memories I have is about my life's biggest crush ever. Well, my first love, to be exact. Because of this guy, I know what love is and all those years to get me over him. Man, I wish I have the picture. Everytime I think about it..er..him, it never fails to give me a major heartache. It's been almost a decade now, but hell, I still remember every bit of it. To make it sound even cheesier, that's why we call it first love--something you will remember forever. (At this point I realize if I will write about this guy, it will take up several blogs to complete the whole senario so I will skip it this time.) The guy played a major part of my college life. He happened to be my college brother (so here, I don't know what I'm supposed to call that พี่รหัส in English with my minimal vocab knowledge.)

CMU has a lot to offer. I didn't realize that back in 1995 or..1996 when I first found out the result of that born-hell entrance examination. I wasn't very excited. I was so damn disappointed and nervous to live outside BKK. Back then, my knowledge of Chiang Mai was very minimal. I was thinking there was nothing there except a few cows, and I mean, literally. Waiting around with all other BKK freshies at Hualumpong Train Station definitely made me feel even worse. We are talking about the third-class/no AC/ no fancy services in the 90s of Thailands\'s train with tons of strangers here. The girl that sat in front of me in the train kept on crying the whole time missing her boyfriend (now remember this girl, there are more into it.) The girl who sat right by me practically did the same thing, crying her ass off due to homesick. By the time I realize it, the surrounding atmosphere was so damn depressing. I didn't see any bright and shine at all during this trip to the upcountry. I could have already told that my life experience would have gone down hill from there. Back then, nobody used mobile phone just yet, so here there were--pagers. Imagine you were traveling somewhere (and you know you would hate it already) and there was this beep beep thing going off every single 5 minutes from someone's boyfriend. Now you definitely hated it. While immersing myself with this whole depressing girl, those upperclass men started walking around our aisle, announcing upcoming activities. I suspected we wouldn't be able to get any sleep at all (well even though you probably couldn't sleep anyway due to extreme dehydration and depression.) Right there, just about time, there was this guy--long hair, nicely-framed glassed with ripped jeans and t-shirt walking by me smiling. I have never found someone so fascinating in my life! (remember? I was 16 then) I felt it was the love at first sight. I felt my purpose of going to Chiang Mai has at all changed. My feeling was upbeated. I started loving my trip. With all the exhaustion and all, We finally..................................................(will blog more later..sorry)

Quick Recap

Friday: December 22, 2006
It is funny how a little restaurant with a little kitchen with four people couldn't keep up with food flow when they weren't even that busy. This is something I call 'management failure.' I came into the restaurant as a guest, but someone has asked if I wanted to work. Well, hell no. I just sat back and relax. It ain't my business after all. (I'd have helped, but the way I looked at it was that they could have speed up, but people in there were so lazy. They moved too slow. As a result, they couldn't get craps done. Meaning, they couldn't keep up with the speed. Meaning, they were screwed, and I wasn't about to clean up those mess, sorry.)

Sam and John fought again tonight about some stupid craps. I told Sam that he'd be better off without his little brother. When someone doesn't have a heart unto doing something, it will never work. If people feel obligated to do something for you, it'd be better not having them do it at all.
Saturday: December 23, 2006
I hurried back home to pack up some stuff. I was 3 hours late from our little x-mas getaway. It seemed that everybody around me felt pretty festive this evening. Everybody but me.
Sunday: December 24, 2006
Had little x-mas get together this evening with Dan's family. Dan's mom must have been one of the most easy going person in the world. We ate, went to church, ate again and then did our x-mas gift stuff. This year has marked my first with x-mas stocking bought by Dan's mom with a letter P on it.
Today: Merry X-Mas
On the way back to Indy from South Bend, I finally managed to grab a bite at this Chinese place (well...didn't expect it to be open today at all..yippieeeeeee) Ar.....finally some Asian foods are back in my tummy again after going on a few days without it.

The Consequences

After being a yesterday brave girl, today I have faced its consequences of trying to be open. It is awkward as hell.

The person I talked to: they (see? no gender here.....I wanna keep it anonymous lol) probably think they are playing the field in my very own home game. They can feel me and see what I have been through, what I have been thinking or even feeling. It was so straight because I know I am one of the best never-show-real-feelings person and that I am proud of it. So when I let it all out yesterday, they feel they can read me entirely. Well, not exactly right people. I have another 2% to share and that it will be out there by the new year. It's my pre New Year resolution. Anyway, I am very proud of my decision to speak whatsoever.

One time in the past, I let my words and my questions go. There was this guy (gosh! this is such an old-school story!) I had so many questions to ask him. There were so many stuff I wanted to let him know, but I never did. I let my chances slip away because of fear. It was overwhalming you know those feelings. By the time I realized, the chances were gone. I never allowed myself to say what I had gotta say and once the opportunity said goodbye, I missed the boat. I still regret until today. So I've learned. You live once. You put yourself out there doing whatever you gotta do. Life is simple. You make a decision and you don't look back. Gosh! love this phrase.

It Feels Great!!!

It feels so great to be able to be as honest as possible to people. I've done just that today after two-week long of thinking, thinking and thinking. Oh man, am I so ready.

You know those feelings when you look into someone's eyes and you know in your heart you have a lot to say besides how are you doing? You have been afraid of so many things to happen, say, rejection, disappointment, embarrassment. So you hold it inside of you--those simple honest truth that is true to your feelings. It makes that hard to breath, swollow, or simply smile when you have too much information going on in your head. I have been thinking about it every time I see this person. I was about to let my though go several times, but my guts fail me. I slept it through from one night to another then I knew I couldn't do this any longer. This stuff beated the crap out of me. So I woke up fresh and new this morning with a life mission: I was going to talk in a mature manner, expressing my feelings with no fear like there is no tomorrow.

I called the person I needed to confront right away when I walked out of bed. I told them I would be stopping by to have a conversation at so and so. I gave them a time range: "I will need 30 minutes out of your life and that will be all." Deal was on. I hung up the phone.

After the talk, I've never felt so alive. Yet, the outcome isn't what I wish it would be. They aren't that happy, but I am. I feel so relieve. I feel so free. During the talk, once the first word was out, the rest flew. I did all the walk and talk. I questioned and answered. I told them all I needed was just they to listen. This was what I had to say and I would pretend that this was my last day in the world. I made my speech and left them hanging. I am happy now. I say goodbye to the I-will-keep-this-shit-in-my-head-til-the-day-I-die phrase. I am a free man. Being able to express yourself is one thing, but being able to know I won't have any regret in the future for shutting up is priceless. Recommend this lesson to everybody! Do it once. You will get addicted.

My Problem

I've been so frustrated today, knowing I really have a problem.

I remembe someone once said to me that I have a problem maintaining a subtle lifestyle. When something goes really well for a certain period of time, I start to freak and look for something challenging. Frankly, I am always looking for troubles. When something is right there for me..spoon-fed kinda thing, I tend to skip it and look at it as a boring-I-can-get-it-whenever-I-want sort of mentality. When 'that thing' starts to move and seems out of reach, that's when I feel the 'desire' to obtain it. What's wrong with me?

It's like there is a piece of candy laying on the table in front of me (which isn't my favorite flavour,) I will not really care about it. But once someone start reaching for that candy, I at the same time, start feeling like "no! that's mine. It's laid in front of me and I don't want to give it away." All of the sudden, I want that candy even though I know in my heart, I will not eat it once it belongs to me. Yeah...what's wrong with me?

This mentality has bugged me throughout the day and beated the crap out my my head. Do I have a problem?

The Phone Call(s)

Inspired by Melissa (hey! I've gotta give you credit for this!)

I've been missing for a few days due to lack of sleep, too many activities and too many rediculous phone calls made by me and yes, I hope you know why.

I'm trying to avoid talking about this topic you know since I'm not very proud of it. With too many beers, I'm usualy chill. With too many vodka and whatever the hell I end up mixing it with, I'm usually hyper, dramatic and yes, turning out to be a psycho freak dialing to people I have something smart to say--which usually sounds great and awesome at the moment. I usually feel like a rocket scientist when finish leaving messages to those individuals. Mission accomplished at after 3 in the morning.

I haven't done that for so long ever since I left college. At the time in college, my friends and I did that a lot and it was pretty cute back then since everybody we called usually were students and most likely, they were still pretty much awake at those weird hours. These drunken calls were topics of redicule the day after and that was all. But since I am no longer in college, I find these calls pretty much a shame to my family--something maybe I shouldn't do it at all. But hey! this Saturday night, it's back baby! Starting off at a restaurant, my first drink (well and only drinks) was a perfect screwdriver (vodka and OJ and whatever flavour the bartender was putting in the glass.) Vodka never in the history makes me sick, so I was all happy..drinking and well drinking. Fast forward to a few hours later, I knew I had made some phone calls and to make a long story short, that was the only thing I pretty much remember.

This morning, I headed to Muncie for my sister's graduation..half hung over. I have received several calls from supposingly those I called last night asking what the hell was wrong with me. So many apologies later, I couldn't come up with any excuse to make. Only...I'm sorry I was wasted. That has been my reason so far. Well, that was the only one anyway, lol.

HOLY CRAP!!!!! Farewell to PETER BOYLE

GOODBYE..........

PETER BOYLE

i will be missing you. who is gonna be Frank now since you are gone?

Now, this is gonna be weird. I heard from Ryan today that Peter Boyle has died at the age of 71 on yesterday evening at New York Presbyterian Hospital. He had been suffering from multiple myeloma and heart desease. Boyle played a big role in several movies, but the one I have known is from is 'Everybody Loves Raymond" where he played the curmudgeonly father in this long-running sitcom show. 'Frank,' I've known him by. He is famous for saying 'holy crap' and his laid back and hilarious personalities in the show that leaded me to grow to love him.

My problem is: no one can ever replace Frank--the most funny, perky, silly on the TV show. Sleep well Boyle.

(12/18/35 - 12/12/06)

Timing

Appreciation goes to you
but the timing isn't right
This could have been a more adventurous journey
but the timing ain't quite precise

Sympathy goes to you
but the timing isn't alright
This should have been more meaning
but the timing will cost me twice

Deep beautiful feeling goes to you
but the timing isn't worth the prize
This could have taken a whole lot out of me
but the timing is a little too tight

Sincere apology goes to you
But the timing doesn't allow me to compromise
This would have been much more than just a temporary
But the timing only allows me to fantasize

FYI: very random from browsing online lol

Travel by Train

Previous post, I've decided to put together my stories during those times I spent in Chiang Mai just for the fun memory of it. I hope that I someday will be able to put all this stuff together as an edited book or my personal diary about life there in general. Back in Thailand, all these stuff have already been documented by me in a diary, but they are so random--more kind of a thought. I hope that this time, I can generate ideas much better. Back then, most of stuff I wrote about had a lot to do with puppy love and all.

I paste this picture on the right hand in this blog because there, at Chiang Mai train station, was the first place in Chiang Mai I set my feet on. Just like any other train station, not much to talk about. But before I jump into other things, traveling to Chiang Mai by trained is considered (to me) as the best way to get to Chiang Mai--ever! See, the thing is that traveling north in Thailand is something that you must experience at least once. If you choose wisely, most scheduled trains will leave BKK in the late evening and that will reach Chiang Mai around 8-9 in the morning--allowing you times to sleep and enjoy what you can see over the window. I usually catch this AC train--the one you can actually lay down and sleep--at 8pm. At times if I travel alone, I will bring my pocket book, read some, then head to bed. By the time I get up around 6:30 or 7, I will sit up and enjoy all the mountains and stuff like that. Then boom! Chiang Mai. It's never been a boring trip to me--never ever. I don't mind spend several hours for a trip up north because for the price I paid, I got what I want and the money is well spent.

Northern part of Thailand is very rich in cultures and natural resources. When traveling by train, you can slowly feel that vibe (and I'm not kidding!) You can slowly see the changes in scenary, scent and basically what you see when the train is approaching its destination. People nowadays are so spoiled by wanting everything to be quick, but forget to appreciate little things that even though not so convenient, but offers a lot more than one can expect.

Hating' the Immatures

I hate those immature people.

You know, those who doesn't age well--mentally. Those who are over 25 and act/ think like they are 12. I just hate them. Most people I know will recommend me to get over it. 'Immature will always be immature if they aren't willing to change.' That's right. Some say, 'Oh! don't sweat over small stuff. If they wanna be immature, let them be. Who cares!" That's right too. But heck! it bugs the shit out of me. That I probably need to get over myself.

Today, I've faced an immature bastard who couldn't handle rejections. The dude wanted to hear only stuff he wanted to hear, so when I said something he didn't expect to hear, he got all immature about it. What does it mean when I say he was acting all immature?

Mature people would have: Talk it out. Have a civil conversation. Express self nicely.
Immature dude: Decide to give me a silence treatment. Refuse to discuss how he feels.

See, the thing is that, him and I have been through this before over and over. I'm all about giving people second chance and stuff, but when the same craps have happened after several talks, I start getting sick of it. This time I have changed. I won't go above and beyond trying to explain myself anymore. Why? Why do people have to be so childish?

A Big Piece of Me--Intro

I miss Chiang Mai and CMU tonight--a lot, so I've decided to write series of blogs about Chiang Mai to help me cope with a big piece of my life.

Also, I found this bird-eye-view pic of Chiang Mai University campus somewhere online and think it's so cool. I actually can see every single buildings, fields, pond, markets, dorms and every part of the campus where I had spent good four years. I miss it.

My parents know better how much I'm attached to this northern part of Thailand. Right after graduation, I've never felt that sad in my life. I didn't wanna leave so I basically stayed around for another 6 months, trying to get a job, but unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky. That was about 8 years ago. During my time in Bangkok, I travelled back to Chiang Mai so many times each year, just to get in touch with myself. Even now, I don't miss my hometown of BKK at all. My next visit to Thailand will as well be my next to this city. So many cool stories there that need to be documented. Damn! I should have done this a long time ago. There will be more of Chiang Mai and CMU.

In 1994 when I found out I got admitted to CMU, I thought that was one of my worst nightmares. Turn out, it..........................................................................................................................

Indianapolis

What not to like about Indianapolis?

Some native Indy have asked me this question before--over and over. They believe it is a great city to live, a great place to raise kids, a great place to build your savings, well, a great place all around.

Aside from a cold/ brutal winter (which I'm not gonna complain about it anymore...well for a while,) yes, Indy is a reasonable city to enjoy life since it's averagely considered a low-cost-of-living city. When friends and family in Thailand ask me about Indy, my first reaction is usually, "oh! cheap town to live." and it usually ends as that. Nope, it's not like I don't have anything to say further, but I believe any other decent size of towns in the US is probably the same--lots of restaurants, bars, colleges and so on. Speaking of this stuff, Indianapolis traffic is similar to Bangkok. There is a so-called 'downtown' but the actually town is really spreading out. There isn't really one place to hang--they are pretty much everywhere. Unlike Chicago, they are all stuff in its downtown area, but here, things are all over the place. We have this cool 465 highway that basically goes around the outside loop of the whole city and that you can take your exit close to the destination. Since I'm not a big of Hwy person (hate the fact that if something happens, I will get stuck there with no gas station or nothing.) 465 isn't that important to me.

I still live a pretty good life here with everything I need (well except some rare Thai stuff.) So people still wondering, "what's not to like about Indianapolis?" It's none (again, aside from crappy winter.) I love Indy. I feel safe here. But I still keep saying this phrase everyday during winter time, "What am I doing here? I've gotta move somewhere warm!"

Life is Beautiful

I'm talking about a movie.

I have thought about this movie all day today for no obvious reason. I just happen to think about it and how great it is. I remember watching it for the first time in 1998 or 1999--not really sure here, and it captures the whole me right away. Since then, ain't no movie has beated this one yet. It is a heart-warming, encouraging, life changing, attitude adjusting kind of movie. It teaches you a whole lot about life in general.

In 1939, Guido, an Italian Jew, falls in love with Dora, who isn't Jewish. He woos her away from the Fascist official she has been dating, and they get married. Their son Giosue grows up among growing anti-Semitism. As the war progresses, Guido and Giosue are arrested and taken to a concentration camp. Dora goes too, determined not to separate the family. In the midst of the horrors of the camp, Guido protects his son by pretending that survival in the concentration camp is an elaborate game with which Giosue must play along or be sent home.

Won over 8 renowned awards around the world plus tons of nominations. The main charactor, Director and Screen Writer are all the same person--Roberto Benigni. Must see.

One Fine Cognac

This bottle of "Chambord" is what makes my newly found favorite Flirtini tastes so damn good.

Tonight, I got a chance to taste this real deal straight up without any mixture and that's when I realize this shit is great both by itself and with mixed drinks. There is no added chemicals or preservative. They do a good job with fresh ingredients like black rasberries, vanilla, honey and other herbs. The bottle looks extravaganza like you can see it on the left, the taste is so damn smooth and yes, it is considered a well drink, which is one of the most expensive liquors available. It's worth it.

I'm not a big fan of straight up shots, but I have to give it to Chambord. It tastes that good that I can see myself owning one. Now I talk like an alcoholic.

Uncomfortable Situation

I have heard people say that business is business. Once you are in a business, it should strictly stay that way.

I believe it is true.

But it isn't easy when I actually have to do it you know. This guy owns a restaurant I work, part-time. He is a very nice guy and is basically a good friend to everybody including me. I look up at him and always think of him as a brother, so do everybody. The thing is that in the past few months, business hasn't been doing really good. There hasn't been a whole lot of ups, but multiple downs. A few weeks back, I started catching up with a few things and realize how bad restaurant financial is. I'm talking about the guy can't even afford to pay his employees.

What make me mad is that: as much as of a nice guy he is, what he has been doing isn't very nice. He writes bad checks and not even bothers to let anyone know. He can't afford to pay his chef, his waitresses, his prep and even his rent. End up, nobody has got paid yet in the past month and everybody is frustrating. When this matter has been brought up to him, the guy gets real personal and upset. He doesn't get it. He feels that he is in a bad situation and nobody cares about him. I listen to him raving about his for a while, thinking, even though I feel bad for you, but it is your business and that your employees must get paid. Period. It's just the way it is. His restaurant isn't my resource of income, so it doesn't affect me, but it is the only income for the rest of his employees. They have to pay bills, don't they. Of course, he doesn't really get it.

I think his main problem is his lifestyle in general that cost so much money. The guy lives in high life and does things like a high roller. He has three cars, a house, an apartment and some craps that he doesn't even need it. How can you afford to maintain your business if all the money you make only go straight to support your luxury life. I just can't see it.

Now I am counting my checks. Got 5 total and worth about $1500. They are just pieces of worthless paper now, aren't they. lol

So Cold......Way Too Cold

It's been like super cold in Indy in the past few weeks, but today..probably has marked its coldest--18 degrees right now while I am writing this.

I hate cold weather. I've never liked it...never use to it...always do and will hate it. Well, some people say if you are cold, just stay inside, bundle up and turning on your heater. See, it's not always as simple as that. Unlike back in Thailand, when it's hot out, okay, you go inside an air conditioned room. Problem solved. Here, when I'm cold, I run inside, turn the heat up, well, that still doesn't solve all the problems I have with winter. See, even though I stay inside and it is pretty warm, I still feel that cold breeze. It doesn't feel the same. It doesn't feel like an indoor summer. It's still pretty cold. Okay, now I turn up the heater pretty high, but dame, my feet is like freezing. I am still cold.

Now, look at how much the 'cold' does the demage (main stuff):
1) Winter leads to several problems. Obvious one is your heater bills. If you still use gas to generate heat, may God be with you. One of my friends own a one story house and ends up with $450/ month gas bill during winter. My apartment probably ends up with over $140/ month electric bill during winter months.
2) Winter leads to problems with driving. Cars won't start. You have to start your car at least 15 mins before you leave. Your car will slide. When you make a left turn, you may end up with right and vise versa. Some one behind you may hit you. You may hit a pole. You end up travel 30 mile per hour on a 60 mile/ hr speed limit highway. (okay..can't list enough of this shit.)
3) Too many layers one can handle. I'm talking about hat, scarves, gloves, socks, big shoes, pants, underpants, shirt, sweaters and coats. By the time you know it, it will take you an extra 15 minutes to walk out of the door and an extra 5 pounds on yourself.