Saturday, July 07, 2007

Oh yes, I have been talking to lots and lots of people about my upcoming trip to Thailand. Even if there's still a month and days before the date, but hey, I'm excited already.

Three weeks, they don't seem to be long enough to catch up with what I've been missing in the past three years. Too many people to talk to, too many things to do with too little time. When you live overseas, it makes you feel so little at times, especially when you hear something like, "Oh! Yui is getting married!," then " but hey, when does she have a boyfriend anyway?" I especially sounded a little out of date, especially last night when talking to one of my best friends in Thailand. So many changes have happened when I am gone.

There are times when I doubt if missing all those stuff are worth it. My sister emailed me my Pa's birthday party a few days ago. Heck, he looks a little older than last time I saw him. I though feel much like I've been missing all of these precious time I should've spent with family. This year must have been the first that so many family members have been sick, and that the guilt is out there for me to grab making me feel that I should have been there. Some times putting my voice via phone across the world doesn't seem to help at all.

Well....when did I turn my Thailand trip excitement into a big sad guilt trip?


oakmonster said...

Don't let it get to you. You choose your life abroad. They can guilt trip you all they want. You are still leaving them in 3 weeks. The guilt tripping gets worse sometimes because the passive aggressive nature of Thai adults. But seriously, you'll have to let it roll over you.

That's how I get through these past 10-days. :)

But you'll have a great time though.

Pondering said...

Thanks Oh
I've always felt like I've been doing something bad like not being there for my parents and some closed relatives. The worst part is to realize that my parents are getting older every year.