Forgive and Forget

Just a thought, a personal ponder, an opinion.

I get irritated a lot, then I forget. When I tell somebody I forget something, I really mean what I say. Whatever it is; doesn't bother or matter to me anymore. Somebody isn't like that and it's cool. We all have different approaches.

But I find it very annoying.

There are times when people offend me, piss me off; making me wanting to bite their head off. I do let them know though that I don't appreciate it. But soon, I find a reason or so to forgive them. I don't hold grudges against them. I don't use that very reason to attack them or even mention it to cause irrational problems. But if they ask me if I have forgotten, I'd tell them straight up I haven't and there is no due date on when I will. I may forget next week, next month or next year. But chances are: I just simply do not forget--never. I'm usually not like this unless there are certain circumstances I find very unexceptable.Throughout my lifetime, I can count 2. I keep it as a lesson I guess. Personally I don't think it is a good quality in me. Well, it isn't good for me mentally because this kinds of thing can add up if you know what I mean. If I can find a reason to let it go from my never-forgetting mind, I think I should. It allows more space in my brain to absorb many other positive things. What I dislike most is that Many people say they have forgiven and actually have forgetten, but when you look deep down into their eyes, they really haven't--at all. This kind of thing shows if you know what I mean.

I wonder what other people think about this matter when they honestly look at themselves and how they handle certain things that bother them most. Do they just forgive and forget it, or they forgive, but not forget or the other way around? I wonder if they ever hold grudges against somebody? Do they let that person know? I'm just wondering.

I told ya. It's just another boring blog from me (which I've been doing a lot lately) lol.

Forgive and Forget

Just a thought, a personal ponder, an opinion.

I get irritated a lot, then I forget. When I tell somebody I forget something, I really mean what I say. Whatever it is; doesn't bother or matter to me anymore. Somebody isn't like that and it's cool. We all have different approaches.

But I find it very annoying.

There are times when people offend me, piss me off; making me wanting to bite their head off. I do let them know though that I don't appreciate it. But soon, I find a reason or so to forgive them. I don't hold grudges against them. I don't use that very reason to attack them or even mention it to cause irrational problems. But if they ask me if I have forgotten, I'd tell them straight up I haven't and there is no due date on when I will. I may forget next week, next month or next year. But chances are: I just simply do not forget--never. I'm usually not like this unless there are certain circumstances I find very unexceptable.Throughout my lifetime, I can count 2. I keep it as a lesson I guess. Personally I don't think it is a good quality in me. Well, it isn't good for me mentally because this kinds of thing can add up if you know what I mean. If I can find a reason to let it go from my never-forgetting mind, I think I should. It allows more space in my brain to absorb many other positive things. What I dislike most is that Many people say they have forgiven and actually have forgetten, but when you look deep down into their eyes, they really haven't--at all. This kind of thing shows if you know what I mean.

I wonder what other people think about this matter when they honestly look at themselves and how they handle certain things that bother them most. Do they just forgive and forget it, or they forgive, but not forget or the other way around? I wonder if they ever hold grudges against somebody? Do they let that person know? I'm just wondering.

I told ya. It's just another boring blog from me (which I've been doing a lot lately) lol.

If you can't beat them, JOIN them

While I'm writing this blog, I'm waiting for Steelers/ Dolphins game to start. There has been a delay though due to some on-going rain and lightings--this is killing those new grasses laid nicely at Heinz Field. It will be muddy night in Pittsburg (though I'm not complaining. I'm very anticipating to see muddy Rothisburger rolling around the on field any minutes now.)

Living in Indianapolis myself offers me many opportunity to attend many professional sport events from Pacers to Colts and the city itself is the home of NCAA headquarter, especially last year, the Colts has won our city the first Lombardi Trophy--this makes it more exciting for sport fans around here. Since I've moved to the US, I know I'll end up liking football. Aside from my job requirement to attend various games from time to time, I find myself begging my boss to let me go to football games--both home and away games. Football (American football) has appealed to me as an aggressive sport. During my first year in the US, little as I knew, I didn't understand the game well (although I understand enough of how form-fitting those pants are, lol). So I didn't get to enjoy it. At first I a little oppose an idea of sitting there and watching a game after another. Saturdays are college games and Sundays are NFL....soon I learn the system. Living in an environment when almost all my friends, co-workers, boyfriend and pretty much anybody I know worship football, I soon join them.

I find football pretty amazing really. I'm not surprise how much I love football now, but I'm a little surpise on how long I can sit and watch football on weekends. For once, I'm amazed on how big of the football business and how much money/ business football has generated to the city. I'm thinking about a controversial subject occured in Indianapolis just a year or so ago on whether the city should use tax payers money to fund a new Colt stadium. By the time I know it, I can see a brand new billions dollars stadium 80% built anticipating to be ready for 2008 season a few minutes from my apartment.

Okay...I'm off to watch the game. See ya!

First Snow on Thanksgiving

I'm not a festive person--either inside or outside of Thai traditions. So when it comes to one of these American's family-bound holidays--Thanksgiving--I'm not too excited about it either; nothing personal. That's what exactly I'd told my boyfriend this past week, "Hey, since I have to come back to work on Friday, I'm cool if you want to go without me." Of course, that sounds very much like an excuse to him. So I went ahead--just to please every party involved--hanging out with them on the Turkey day.

Americans seem to make a big deal out of a few holidays--one is Thanksgiving, another is Christmas. Many say these two days bring family together, spend time with them and enjoy good foods. Since many people here realize I don't have many family members around in the States; they automatically assume I must be lonely. They don't know better I guess. If I am to miss my family, it doesn't matter if it's Thanksgiving or Christmas. I am to miss my family on, say, Columbus Day, and I am to miss my family on Veteran day or any other no-name days......I do not need *special* festive holiday to miss them. Though...this doesn't get through many's head. Don't get me wrong. I'm no holidy hater. I'm absolutely thankful for my boyfriend's family to insist on having me to attend this very special event at their home. I'm thankful for those neatly-made traditional foods laid on a large table. I'm very grateful for having such wonderful parties and conversations (oh...and those pies with whipped cream..yummm).

But it can be awkward, at times, when some ask if I miss my family today. I find it extremely strange to tell them, "no...I actually missed them yesterday." So I said, yes....realizing I'm such a big liar. Then they ask, "how do you like the Turkey?"

*Sign*.......................................................................

FYI: Thanksgiving 11/22/07 this year has marked the very first day of snowing. Up in South Bend where I went to stay for a few days, the lake (Michigan) effect had hit us. So here it is...it's already here...that damn snow! I hope it will wait a couple of weeks before seeing snow in Indianapolis.

Winter in Indianapolis

I remember my first time seeing a real snow several years back during my trip to Scandinavians. It was so excited, running around like a mad man, making snow balls, rolling myself around for quite some hours in the middle of the night.

I remember how beautiful it was looking at lands covering with layers of pure white icy snow.
Snow had remained a picture perfect during my first year in the US when I was so thrilled to breath out the cold air. My very first winter I was still obsessed with shopping for winter boots, scarves, gloves and other cute outer gears. I was so excited to stomp my feet onto a 10" high snow on the ground. I was very much into the concept of photographing myself outside with loads of snow to show friends and family in Thailand.

Those excitement doesn't last long.

See, my first year I wasn't aware of the side effects of snow during winter time. My skin becomes extremely dry, my nose is runny all the time, it takes forever to go outside because I have to shove the snow, clear the drive way, clear the snow laid on my car, warm my car up, putting on winter gears and list goes on. The most painful thing to do is *driving.* I am not going to talk much about driving in this blog (yes, I have lots to say about it, guess I will safe it for later).
A
nd that second year here, I become to realize...I'm cold all the time. My feet, my finger tips and my nose, they are so sensitive to cold weather.

I wonder how ones get used to this condition. I ask many fellow co-workers whether they all have gotten used to it, none has said yes. Many has mentioned there is no such things as getting used to cold weather.

......and the worst time of the year is coming---December, January, February and March.

Just a Blog?

I know.....I've been gone from my very own/ truely blog for a while. What a shame leaving my own established blog for others...*sign*

You know, a few months back, I've been invited by a former supervisor at the Nation to join the weblog. Skeptical I felt at first, I joined it anyway. I must admit. The past few months have been fun trading some ideas with such diversed populations from all over the world. I've been pretty active and regular at the site I think.

But today...I'm no longer sure. I see people come and go, and some cannot even handle conflicts and differences between them and others. I see some people over-analyze things, over think, over-opinionate on different topics. It can be annoying I'm telling you--seeing people acting like a child--yeah...weird, but true. It annoys the heck out of me... I know it's hard to explain and not sounding rediculous. After all it's just a blog.

Then I realize...it really is just a blog. Maybe it's time for me to take a little vacation from the Nation weblog for a second.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

It just ended a few minutes ag0. I strongly felt disappointed, discouraged and pretty much down.

Indianapolis Colts was defeated by New England Patriots 20-24. It is our first loss of this season bringing us to 7-1. It was a big deal to me for a few minutes. Until I've discovered a few things. I though have found a light through this disappointment that just has occurred to me.

I'm not going to talk football here, but more of a big picture. Last season, the Colts has won the first Super Bowl for this city since Irsay has bought the team in the 80s from Baltimore. The first---so imagine anything with the first time ever in it; it's big. Since then, people just love the team more. Many Colts-logo items have been sold like hot cakes. Indianapolis has turned to be a big sport town...bigger than before. People are dedicating to the team. Dedication comes with its price; people's hope and expectation are higher than ever. So with the loss tonight, for a second, it felt unbearable. I've been thinking about life (not the football anymore). People set certain expectations on something, having high hope, then they fell. When people expect something of someone too much, if things go good; it's great. If things go bad, they fall. When they fall, they fall hard and it hurts a bunch.

What if we all try not to have expectations and just take life as the way it is. What if we live for today and go by the flow. I guess when we fall, we won't fall as hard. What if we don't take life too seriously and except things just the way they are.

You win some, you lose some. Sounds fair to me. What about you?

The Nude Guru

When I was living in Thailand, my addiction to his ways of writing and his unique attitude is very high. I've been a big fan. What's not to love about Thailand's nude guru/ artist/ writer, Niwat Kongpien?

In case some of you guys don't really know him, Niwat Kongpien is known for his love of female body. Not sure if he is still writing for the weekly Matichon, but he has had a weekly column with them analyzing female's bodies in *details.* Niwat mainly discusses about revealing photographs taken on magazines or books. And the way he writes about them is one of the reasons I just love the guy.

Easy-to-follow, unique, straight-to-the-point, blunt, provocative and confident ways he portrays each photograph are admirable. He describes sexual desire, parts and feelings like nobody else. He sees what most people don't.

To many people, he is siding to be a pervert. To me, he is aiming towards beauties of human's body, and honesty of human's sexuality. A few years ago, I got an accident chance to talk to him. His attitude towards his career and Thai society have amazed me until today. His progressive thoughts make me feel that we need more of him in the society. I believe he fills in a few missing important spots in Thai society--criticism, assertiveness and sexuality.