There is really SOMETHING *thrilling* about stuff that is hard to obtain--the harder, the better...the more challenging in a good way.
I don't think I need that in my life at this time. It's just not too healthy for me. What I really need is something that is easier to get and that I need to learn to appreciate what I have in general. I think I need to learn how to really kick back and relax and have the see-what-happens mentality. My mother's always thought me to be patient and to believe that if something is mine, it will always be mine without even trying. If something doesn't mean to be mine, I can try as hard as I can, but it's still not mine. I believe that. I want to be able to adapt that to my lifestyle. I think that is good for me.
Reality is, my ass is always doing the exact opposite. WTF. Anything that is there for me, I tell myself it can wait. I pretty much take it for granted. Anything that is not though, man, I pursue that aggressively. How do I change that? It can be tiring.