My Expectation(s) of Thailand

........is none.

I'm aware; an individual without an expectation appears to be a hopeless person. It appears to many not having any expectation shows lacks of hopes and dreams. It shows a sense of surrender. It makes me sound like I'm giving up on Thailand.

I disagree.

Thailand, just like any other countries, has bads and goods; ups and downs. New Year is just another day. The world is still spinning. We continue to do our things. Thailand remains a country; not hell nor heaven. Many love Thailand, many hate Thailand. Many believe Thailand is an exotic location while other says Thailand is a high crime area.

The bottom line is: who cares?

I can names many things that make me frustrated about Thailand and can make a long list of what can be changed in order to make Thailand a better place. But again, why look into what I don't like about it.

Saying I dislike this and hate that aren't going change a thing. Why not concentrate on what I like about it. At least, it is healthy to stick with positive things. I cherish what Thailand has as a country and the country that I grew up on; many little things--bad or good--count and these little things are perfect components of making me who I am today.

So It's a New Year. It's just another day. Let's make a wish and take actions; instead of making unnecessary expectations.

PS: I'm writing and posting this based on US Central Stadard time. Happy New Year in Thailand. Here is the US....we are 4 hours shy of New Year.

That easy????

Guess it shouldn't be something to brag about. Hey! World.....my blog's reading level is *HIGH SCHOOL*. Wow......what a big shock!

Let me go bang my head against the wall a few times fellas. I need some times to get myself together a bit, drag my truely self out of misery, being depressed a few more days and I will be back.

What the *uck!!!!

.....and I thought I write smart.......

Random Thoughts

I've been lazy; I had been simply too lazy to maintain my very own blog in the past two weeks. I have no idea why.

Haven't done much in the past two weeks either. Let's see:

I think I got a *flu shot* on the 17th. This must be my first flu shot ever.
I'd been sick....flu virus...something like that.
I've been hunting and considering to relocate to downtown Indianapolis. On-going.
Work

This Sunday, Dan and I plan to go to South Bend for Christmas...........................................................

When should I go to Thailand again?

Sexiest Man Alive 2007

Every year, People magazine rank 100 men as 'Sexiest Man Alive'. Criteria? Not really sure. Do I agree with them? Not this year. Here is the top 10 men who are supposed to be ten sexiest. Wanna see pictures, google their name or just go to www.people.com.
1. Matt Demon
2. Patrick Dempsey
3. Ryan Reynolds
4. Brad Pitt
5. James Mcavoy
6. Johnny Depp
7. Dave Annable
8. Will Smith
9. Javier Bardem
10. Shemar Moore
I've always wonder: why Brad Pitt? He seems to be extraordinary 'hot' in millions of girls' eyes, youngs or olders. Is it his large jawlines? Is that dirty blonde hair? Brad is a good looking guy, but he is not close to top ten....at least to me. And girls, do you really think Patrick Dempsey is sexy? What about Matt Demon? Matt Demon is surely cute, but sexy?

I define something sexy (oh yeah.....things can be sexy too!) when that particular thing has sex appeals such as brandy glasses. I also define a woman sexy when that woman has curves..carries hour glass figure and is able to express her feelings through her eyes. I define a man sexy when his body has definitions with muscular figure, carries a body that can protect and has deep voice.

Too many to name......

Snow coming.....snow

Another....year, again, I'm complaining. I never seem to get used to it...ever.

When this time of the year comes around, there is this voice running back and forth, taking over my head, asking me: "what the hell am I doing here?" Of all the places in the US, what the heck am I doing in the snowey state of Indiana?"

I'm so mad at myself starting this month when the temperature starts to drop. The madness of myself goes from December all the way to February (if I'm lucky enough), but mostly will go all the way to March next year.

I come to sense that I don't really hate snow itself (though I don't like it either!), but more of a driving in snow.

Driving in snow can be a great challege. Last week, a friend of mine said that driving in a slipery road can be fun when you are sliding all over the place; it's just like an ice skating. I am thinking, heck no, no fun here for me. It may have been fun if I am the *only* driver on the road. Now, reality is, it's not gonna happen in millions years. When I am driving on an icy road, I'm not only dangerous to myself, but to those drivers nearby. When I'm driving on a snowey, slipery road, I'm already sliding (oh heck no, ABS does nothing for my life and car while I'm driving), but every single time I look over to the guy nearby, they are sliding as well. I'm not even talking about those in front and behind me.

It's coming though, whether I like it or not. Tonight all the way to tomorrow--our first snow in Indy will be up to 5 inches high. I really do hope our weather guy is wrong.

Forgive and Forget

Just a thought, a personal ponder, an opinion.

I get irritated a lot, then I forget. When I tell somebody I forget something, I really mean what I say. Whatever it is; doesn't bother or matter to me anymore. Somebody isn't like that and it's cool. We all have different approaches.

But I find it very annoying.

There are times when people offend me, piss me off; making me wanting to bite their head off. I do let them know though that I don't appreciate it. But soon, I find a reason or so to forgive them. I don't hold grudges against them. I don't use that very reason to attack them or even mention it to cause irrational problems. But if they ask me if I have forgotten, I'd tell them straight up I haven't and there is no due date on when I will. I may forget next week, next month or next year. But chances are: I just simply do not forget--never. I'm usually not like this unless there are certain circumstances I find very unexceptable.Throughout my lifetime, I can count 2. I keep it as a lesson I guess. Personally I don't think it is a good quality in me. Well, it isn't good for me mentally because this kinds of thing can add up if you know what I mean. If I can find a reason to let it go from my never-forgetting mind, I think I should. It allows more space in my brain to absorb many other positive things. What I dislike most is that Many people say they have forgiven and actually have forgetten, but when you look deep down into their eyes, they really haven't--at all. This kind of thing shows if you know what I mean.

I wonder what other people think about this matter when they honestly look at themselves and how they handle certain things that bother them most. Do they just forgive and forget it, or they forgive, but not forget or the other way around? I wonder if they ever hold grudges against somebody? Do they let that person know? I'm just wondering.

I told ya. It's just another boring blog from me (which I've been doing a lot lately) lol.

Forgive and Forget

Just a thought, a personal ponder, an opinion.

I get irritated a lot, then I forget. When I tell somebody I forget something, I really mean what I say. Whatever it is; doesn't bother or matter to me anymore. Somebody isn't like that and it's cool. We all have different approaches.

But I find it very annoying.

There are times when people offend me, piss me off; making me wanting to bite their head off. I do let them know though that I don't appreciate it. But soon, I find a reason or so to forgive them. I don't hold grudges against them. I don't use that very reason to attack them or even mention it to cause irrational problems. But if they ask me if I have forgotten, I'd tell them straight up I haven't and there is no due date on when I will. I may forget next week, next month or next year. But chances are: I just simply do not forget--never. I'm usually not like this unless there are certain circumstances I find very unexceptable.Throughout my lifetime, I can count 2. I keep it as a lesson I guess. Personally I don't think it is a good quality in me. Well, it isn't good for me mentally because this kinds of thing can add up if you know what I mean. If I can find a reason to let it go from my never-forgetting mind, I think I should. It allows more space in my brain to absorb many other positive things. What I dislike most is that Many people say they have forgiven and actually have forgetten, but when you look deep down into their eyes, they really haven't--at all. This kind of thing shows if you know what I mean.

I wonder what other people think about this matter when they honestly look at themselves and how they handle certain things that bother them most. Do they just forgive and forget it, or they forgive, but not forget or the other way around? I wonder if they ever hold grudges against somebody? Do they let that person know? I'm just wondering.

I told ya. It's just another boring blog from me (which I've been doing a lot lately) lol.

If you can't beat them, JOIN them

While I'm writing this blog, I'm waiting for Steelers/ Dolphins game to start. There has been a delay though due to some on-going rain and lightings--this is killing those new grasses laid nicely at Heinz Field. It will be muddy night in Pittsburg (though I'm not complaining. I'm very anticipating to see muddy Rothisburger rolling around the on field any minutes now.)

Living in Indianapolis myself offers me many opportunity to attend many professional sport events from Pacers to Colts and the city itself is the home of NCAA headquarter, especially last year, the Colts has won our city the first Lombardi Trophy--this makes it more exciting for sport fans around here. Since I've moved to the US, I know I'll end up liking football. Aside from my job requirement to attend various games from time to time, I find myself begging my boss to let me go to football games--both home and away games. Football (American football) has appealed to me as an aggressive sport. During my first year in the US, little as I knew, I didn't understand the game well (although I understand enough of how form-fitting those pants are, lol). So I didn't get to enjoy it. At first I a little oppose an idea of sitting there and watching a game after another. Saturdays are college games and Sundays are NFL....soon I learn the system. Living in an environment when almost all my friends, co-workers, boyfriend and pretty much anybody I know worship football, I soon join them.

I find football pretty amazing really. I'm not surprise how much I love football now, but I'm a little surpise on how long I can sit and watch football on weekends. For once, I'm amazed on how big of the football business and how much money/ business football has generated to the city. I'm thinking about a controversial subject occured in Indianapolis just a year or so ago on whether the city should use tax payers money to fund a new Colt stadium. By the time I know it, I can see a brand new billions dollars stadium 80% built anticipating to be ready for 2008 season a few minutes from my apartment.

Okay...I'm off to watch the game. See ya!

First Snow on Thanksgiving

I'm not a festive person--either inside or outside of Thai traditions. So when it comes to one of these American's family-bound holidays--Thanksgiving--I'm not too excited about it either; nothing personal. That's what exactly I'd told my boyfriend this past week, "Hey, since I have to come back to work on Friday, I'm cool if you want to go without me." Of course, that sounds very much like an excuse to him. So I went ahead--just to please every party involved--hanging out with them on the Turkey day.

Americans seem to make a big deal out of a few holidays--one is Thanksgiving, another is Christmas. Many say these two days bring family together, spend time with them and enjoy good foods. Since many people here realize I don't have many family members around in the States; they automatically assume I must be lonely. They don't know better I guess. If I am to miss my family, it doesn't matter if it's Thanksgiving or Christmas. I am to miss my family on, say, Columbus Day, and I am to miss my family on Veteran day or any other no-name days......I do not need *special* festive holiday to miss them. Though...this doesn't get through many's head. Don't get me wrong. I'm no holidy hater. I'm absolutely thankful for my boyfriend's family to insist on having me to attend this very special event at their home. I'm thankful for those neatly-made traditional foods laid on a large table. I'm very grateful for having such wonderful parties and conversations (oh...and those pies with whipped cream..yummm).

But it can be awkward, at times, when some ask if I miss my family today. I find it extremely strange to tell them, "no...I actually missed them yesterday." So I said, yes....realizing I'm such a big liar. Then they ask, "how do you like the Turkey?"

*Sign*.......................................................................

FYI: Thanksgiving 11/22/07 this year has marked the very first day of snowing. Up in South Bend where I went to stay for a few days, the lake (Michigan) effect had hit us. So here it is...it's already here...that damn snow! I hope it will wait a couple of weeks before seeing snow in Indianapolis.

Winter in Indianapolis

I remember my first time seeing a real snow several years back during my trip to Scandinavians. It was so excited, running around like a mad man, making snow balls, rolling myself around for quite some hours in the middle of the night.

I remember how beautiful it was looking at lands covering with layers of pure white icy snow.
Snow had remained a picture perfect during my first year in the US when I was so thrilled to breath out the cold air. My very first winter I was still obsessed with shopping for winter boots, scarves, gloves and other cute outer gears. I was so excited to stomp my feet onto a 10" high snow on the ground. I was very much into the concept of photographing myself outside with loads of snow to show friends and family in Thailand.

Those excitement doesn't last long.

See, my first year I wasn't aware of the side effects of snow during winter time. My skin becomes extremely dry, my nose is runny all the time, it takes forever to go outside because I have to shove the snow, clear the drive way, clear the snow laid on my car, warm my car up, putting on winter gears and list goes on. The most painful thing to do is *driving.* I am not going to talk much about driving in this blog (yes, I have lots to say about it, guess I will safe it for later).
A
nd that second year here, I become to realize...I'm cold all the time. My feet, my finger tips and my nose, they are so sensitive to cold weather.

I wonder how ones get used to this condition. I ask many fellow co-workers whether they all have gotten used to it, none has said yes. Many has mentioned there is no such things as getting used to cold weather.

......and the worst time of the year is coming---December, January, February and March.